Six Toxic Beliefs That Will Ruin Your Career

Six Toxic Beliefs That Will Ruin Your Career

Self-talk is driven by critical beliefs that you hold about yourself, and is manifested in the things that you think as you move through your day. It plays an understated but powerful role in your ability to succeed, because your beliefs can both spur you forward toward achieving your goals and hold you back. As Henry Ford said, “He who believes he can and he who believes he cannot are both correct.”

When it comes to self-talk, there are six toxic beliefs that hold people back more than any others. Be mindful of your tendencies to succumb to these beliefs, so that they don’t derail your career.

Toxic Belief #1: Perfection = Success

Human beings, by our vary nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish, instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.

Toxic Belief #2: My Destiny is Predetermined

Far too many people succumb to the highly irrational idea that they are destined to succeed or fail. Make no mistake about it, your destiny is in your own hands, and blaming multiple successes or failures on forces beyond your control is nothing more than a cop out. Sometimes life will deal you difficult cards to play, and others times you’ll be holding aces. Your willingness to give your all in playing any hand you’re holding determines your ultimate success or failure in life.

Toxic Belief #3: I “Always” or “Never” Do That

There isn’t anything in life that you always or never do. You may do something a lot or not do something enough, but framing your behavior in terms of “always” or “never” is a form of self-pity. It makes you believe that you have no control of yourself and will never change. Don’t succumb to it.

Toxic Belief #4: I Succeed When Others Approve of Me

Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain⎯you’re never as good or bad as they say you are. It’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, but you can take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what people think about you, your self-worth comes only from within.

Toxic Belief #5: My Past = My Future

Repeated failures can erode your self-confidence and make it hard to believe you’ll achieve a better outcome in the future. Most of the time, these failures result from taking risks and trying to achieve something that isn’t easy. Just remember that success lies in your ability to rise in the face of failure. Anything worth achieving is going to require you to take some risks, and you can’t allow failure to stop you from believing in your ability to succeed.

Toxic Belief #6: My Emotions = Reality

If you’ve read Emotional Intelligence 2.0, you know how to take an objective look at your feelings and separate fact from fiction. If not, you might want to read it. Otherwise, your emotions will continue to skew your sense of reality, making you vulnerable to the negative self-talk that can hold you back from achieving your full potential.

If you can overcome the self-defeating beliefs above, you’ll make great strides in improving your self-talk.

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7 Essential Qualities of Great Leaders

7 Essential Qualities of Great Leaders

By Ritika Trikha

January 30, 2014

Does your office have a great leader? Whether or not you’re in a leadership position, practicing strong leadership skills can offer a huge payoff.

True leaders don’t wait for a shiny, new title to start leading. Prove that you are someone worth following, and—pretty soon—you’ll have a strong case to make when you want to move up!

We spoke with dozens of folks with decades of experience in leading teams to success. The following are seven essential habits that produce great leaders!

1. Lead and Inspire by Example Rather than Dictating

The greatest leaders are down in the trenches with you. They see how the operation works and what hurdles their team is facing. This way, you don’t end up setting unrealistic goals. If you practice what you preach, you’ll create a strong, inspirational perception at work.

2. Create a Culture of Warmth, Not Fear

According to one Wharton School of Business survey of over 3,000 professionals across all sectors, “People who worked in a culture where they were free to express affection, tenderness, caring and compassion for one another were more satisfied with their jobs, committed to the organization and accountable for their performance,” according to Sigal Barsade and Olivia O’Neill, the researchers of the study, on Harvard Business Review.

Creativity, collaboration and morale is a lot higher when your team doesn’t dread hearing your feedback.

3. Maximize Time Efficiently by Avoiding Unproductive Busyness

Great leaders are wary of “unproductive busyness,” according to a 10-year study by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton. Shuttling from one meeting to another without actually making any innovative waves.

These researchers studied the habits of managers at big corporations, like Sony, LG Electronics and Lufthansa. “Fully 90 percent of managers squander their time in all sorts of ineffective activities,” the researchers wrote on Harvard Business Review (HBR). Yikes!

For further insight on maximizing time effectively, save this link to the full HBR article for a rainy day. It’s a lengthy read but definitely worth it for those of you dedicated to becoming great leaders.

4. Recognize Top Performers

The best way to reward and keep top performers motivated is to recognize them. Money is great, but, sometimes, “more than money, people want to be appreciated for their value and expertise. A word from the boss indicating her appreciation and esteem is more valuable than any amount of cash,” says Bob Mason, leadership development expert with over 35 years of leadership experience.

Make them feel valued. Give credit where it’s due. This will help build trust between you and your team. It also helps to really get to know your colleagues to understand what motivates them.

“Also, though it might seem counter-intuitive, a new challenge is often a great form of recognition because it shows the boss has confidence in that person's ability to accomplish even more,” Mason says.

5. Establish a Clear Vision and Communicate it Well

Your vision should be consistent in every goal and achievement you make.

“Great leaders set direction with their senior team or other leaders (tapping into their perspective and position) and then communicate that direction with passion and commitment, helping those responsible for executing understand where they fit, and how they fit,” says Christine Chopyak, strategy and management consultant of Alchemy: The Art of Transforming Business.

6. Listen with Intent and Respect

“Great leaders are present. They give all their associates 100 percent attention so that it feels like that associate is the only person in the room,” says Patrick Malone, senior partner of The PAR Group.

This means putting away your smartphone, making effective eye contact and making others feel heard.


It’s also important to “demonstrate respect for all other points of view. Respect doesn’t mean agree but rather simply respect other’s right to a different point of view than their own at this moment in time,” Malone says.

7. Avoid the Perfectionist Trap

One of the biggest downfalls of great leaders is an inability to trust the team to carry out their vision. This is particularly common among perfectionists. The old saying “if you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself” comes to mind.

But this is exactly the kind of mentality that can burn you out and limit your team’s success. You can’t do everything.

“The key to delegation is identifying the strengths of your team, and capitalizing on them. Find out what each team member enjoys doing most. Chances are if they find that task more enjoyable, they will likely put more thought and effort behind it,” says Tanya Prive of Forbes.

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